Love, loss, and music for All Souls Day

The Artdog Images of Interest for All Souls Day

IMAGES: Many thanks to the Beers and Beans Blog article "Graveyard Musicians-Oaxaca, Mexico," for the photo of the mariachis in a graveyard on the Days of the Dead; to the Genealogy Bank Blog's "101 Genealogy Proverbs" for the Chinese proverb; to Quote Ambition, for the "Sympathy-Loss-Love" quote image; and to Amazon for the "papel picado" banner designs.

Result of the love of thousands

Artdog Images of Interest on All Saints Day

IMAGES: Many thanks to Bob's Market and Greenhouses for the marigold photo at the top; to  the Inner Journey Events Blog article by Della Ratcliffe for the illustrated Linda Hogan quote; and to Farstrider.nethttp://farstrider.net/Mexico/Muertos/Cemetery.htm for the photo of the Mexican cemetery on the Days of the Dead.

A "virtual ofrenda" for All Saints Day

Today is All Saints Day, and the first of los Dias de los Muertos. This is the day for remembering deceased loved ones.

Who are you remembering today? I'd like to invite you to create a virtual ofrenda with me. The traditional Mexican ofrenda has three levels, or tiers, so ours should, too.

On the top tier, we identify and invite our loved one to our ofrenda, usually with a photo of the person. If you're thinking of someone, picture them in your mind, or find a photo. Perhaps this poem can be our invitation:

On the middle tier, we try to make them feel welcome. On a typical ofrenda, this welcome often takes the form of food or drink that the person enjoyed--a favorite dessert, treat, or brew/vintage/spirit. Take a moment to think about your loved one. Did they have a favorite drink (were they a Coke or Pepsi person, for instance?), or perhaps a favorite treat? I had an aunt who loved carrot cake. At dinner on the day of her interment, we remembered her with carrot cake for dessert.

Traditional ofrendas offer sweet breads, in addition to personalized foods: pan dulce or pan de muerto. They also decorate with calaveras (decorated sugar skull-shapes) and bright yellow and orange marigolds, the Aztec flower of the dead whose scent is thought to invite the spirits closer. On our virtual ofrenda, perhaps these will be appropriate:

On the bottom tier of the ofrenda, there are almost always lit candles, and frequently a washbasin of water, towel, comb, etc. so the spirit can refresh itself. The spirit realm, it seems, is a desolate, dusty space. So let's offer your loved one's spirit a virtual spa day.

The point of an ofrenda is honor and cherish loving memories of a person who is no longer living. To remember is to help extend your loved one's legacy, and in a way to help them live on.

Let's complete our virtual ofrenda by thinking of something sweet, loving, funny, or otherwise typical that your loved one did or said, that brings a warm feeling to your heart and a smile to your face. Such feelings are the best legacy of all.

I hope you (and your loved one's spirit) have enjoyed my offering of this virtual ofrenda. If you'd like to extend your loved one's life-in-memory and share a fun or touching story in the Comments section, I'd be honored.

IMAGES: I found the image with the poem by John F. Connor on Pinterest. Many thanks! I also am grateful to AskIdeas, for the "Welcome Back" sign, and to Milissa Silva-Diaz, whose La Experiencia Mexicana page gave me the photo of the pan de muertos, marigolds, and sugar skull. Thanks are due to Creative Blogging, for the "spa day" evocation photo; I feel refreshed, just looking at it. The "Remembering Good Times" image is from QuotesGram. The "Good Times + Crazy Friends" image is from hplyriks, via the QuotationInspiration Pinterest page. The "A Good Friend Knows" image is from DailyInspirationalQuotes, via Quotes By Who. The "Most treasured heirlooms" Quote is from Picture Quotes. MANY THANKS TO ALL! 

Days of the Dead: All Souls Day

I was told at some point by somebody that the first of the Days of the Dead, All Saints Day, is focused primarily on memorials of loved ones who lived with us, became adults, and maybe even are our ancestors.

An unidentified woman sits by the decorated tomb of a relative in San Antonio Aguascalientes, Guatemala. (AP/Moises Castillo)

The second day, All Souls Day, shifts the focus to the babies, the children, the innocent spirits we lost too soon. I cannot imagine any grief greater than losing one's child, and I thank God every day that's one terrible sorrow I have so far been spared.

Unfortunately, as I write this all too many parents and grandparents--in Kansas City, and everywhere else--are grieving just such losses. Wherever there is strife, poverty, illness, famine or terror, the children suffer the most. The world is full of evils, and it has been a bad year for far too many children.

For me, that category of "innocent spirits" also must include beloved pets and other animals: pure spirits who have enriched life on earth, and who are gone all too quickly. I do not see this attitude as a belittlement of lost children, simply an acknowledgement that profound losses may come from many different quarters. For most of the people in my life, their companion animals are cherished family members, and I cannot see that as anything but appropriate.

Oh, and--don't try to convince me that animals don't have souls. I have no patience with such claptrap, no matter how many famous persons or theological authorities you care to quote. If they said that, they're flat wrong, and probably never paid proper heed to the animals in their lives, or they would know better. Even the Bible agrees with me (if there are no animals in Heaven, how can Jesus come from there on a white horse in Revelation? I rest my case).

My hope is that today's post will encourage anyone who reads it to live more mindfully with those they love--be they humans, or some other species. Cherish the time you have with them, no matter who they are. And be sure they know how you feel!

Blessings to you.

IMAGES: Many thanks, once again, to NBC Latino's 2012 feature on the Days of the Dead, for the beautiful photo from Guatemala. I also want to thank Judy Jacintho's "Quotes" Pinterest board for the image and quote about spending time with loved ones, and The Better Future's website for the quote about grief. 

Days of the Dead: All Saints Day

Because we have a significant Hispanic population in Kansas City, I learned several years ago about some holiday observation traditions for the Days of the Dead.

I have a lot of admiration for a cultural celebration that deals in a poetic and artistic way with the reality that death inevitably touches every life.

This graveyard in San Gregorio, Mexico has been decorated for the Days of the Dead (AP/Alexandre Meneghini)

The culture in which I grew up does not handle death very well. Much of mainstream U.S. culture seems to worship youth and health, but tries to ignore or banish any intimation that illness, disability or death may exist.

To my mind this is both foolish and futile. It turns us into cowards, who live in carefully-blinkered denial. It sets us up to be blindsided by one of the profound realities of existence, and it seriously distorts our priorities.

As a result, I believe we live less fully, and care less well for those who've fallen victim to life's misfortunes.

We often don't know what to say to people who are grieving a loss. As someone who has lost loved ones, I believe what we should do is embrace the sadness, acknowledge the loss, and smile at the good memories.

Here are a couple of others' thoughts on that.

Keep your loved ones close, cherish them in life, and also in memory. They are why we are who we are today.

IMAGES: Many thanks to NBC Latino's 2012 feature on the Days of the Dead, for the beautiful photo of the Mexican graveyard; to The Better Future's website, for the "Speak their Name" graphic; and to Christine Snider's Pinterest board, and amiesniderDESIGN's Etsy site, for the "Those we love don't go away" graphic.