For My Family

Day Two: Grateful for my Family

We humans are shaped and often defined by our families, for both well and ill. We can inherit everything--and anything--from our forebears:

• Genetic vulnerabilities or resistances to diseases
• Family recipes (be they sublime--or dreadful!) 
• Attitudes (political or otherwise)
• Catchphrases (do you ever hear your parent's or grandparent's voice coming out of your own mouth?)
• Childrearing practices (boy, can that be a two-edged sword! For you, and your kids!)
• Knicknacks (from worthless dust-collectors to priceless heirlooms)
• Traditions, (for holidays, special occasions, or anything at all)
• Wealth (along with its entanglements.)
• Poverty (different kinds of entanglements, but at least as many, here)
• Or, all too often, dysfunctional patterns that over time can take on the likeness of a "generational curse," if we're not careful, thoughtful, and brutally self-reflective.

Blessings? Curses? A little of both? Yes. Families can be all of those. They even can be all of those at the same time.

If you regard your family-of-origin with little short of horror, I get it.

If you see them mainly as a pain in the patoot but you love them anyway, you're in good company throughout most of the planet.

If you never knew them, I offer my deepest condolences--and pray you may be empowered to surround yourself with the kind of friends who love you like the most positive kind of brothers and sisters.

But if you're like me, you not only remember your siblings and parents--you still have at least some of them around to deal with, care about, and/or worry about.

A bit rude, maybe, but more accurate than not.

In my case I have a house I have almost reclaimed from the hoarder-esque piles of inherited household goods after some eight estate liquidations since 2005, a recently-turned-93-year-old father, a Beloved who lost his 89-year-old mother this year, and two adult children with a variety of strengths and challenges--plus assorted canine, feline, piscine, and even Eublepharine household members with challenges of their own.

They are, in many ways, the reason I get up in the morning (well, them and the novel!), the delight of my life, and also the sand in my gears. I wouldn't trade them for anything, and I know I'm incredibly lucky to have them. Every single one I've lost, I've lost under extreme protest. Every single one I haven't yet lost, I cherish with all my heart.

IMAGES:  The "Seven Days of Gratitude" design is my own creation, for well or ill. If for some reason You'd like to use it, please feel free to do so, but I request attribution and a link back to this post. Many thanks to Boardofwisdom, via Your English Library's summary page about About a Boy, for the quotation image from Manwadu Ndife, and to iFunny for the graphic about family being like underpants.

Watch out!

They'll be haunting the streets tonight!

Stay alert when driving, and keep an eye out for their safety, all through the night. It's a time for creative fun and laughter, but also for keeping all the little ghouls and goblins bright-eyed.

Unfortunately, hazards do lurk. Children (and pets) don't usually think to watch out for them. It's up to all of us to make sure the little kids stay safe and have fun.

Here's to a happy and healthy Halloween for all! 

IMAGE: Many thanks to the Pinterest page, 1000+ Toddler Halloween Costumes! Check that page out, if you're up for creativity and cute little kids--they have scads of both.

Days of the Dead: All Souls Day

I was told at some point by somebody that the first of the Days of the Dead, All Saints Day, is focused primarily on memorials of loved ones who lived with us, became adults, and maybe even are our ancestors.

An unidentified woman sits by the decorated tomb of a relative in San Antonio Aguascalientes, Guatemala. (AP/Moises Castillo)

The second day, All Souls Day, shifts the focus to the babies, the children, the innocent spirits we lost too soon. I cannot imagine any grief greater than losing one's child, and I thank God every day that's one terrible sorrow I have so far been spared.

Unfortunately, as I write this all too many parents and grandparents--in Kansas City, and everywhere else--are grieving just such losses. Wherever there is strife, poverty, illness, famine or terror, the children suffer the most. The world is full of evils, and it has been a bad year for far too many children.

For me, that category of "innocent spirits" also must include beloved pets and other animals: pure spirits who have enriched life on earth, and who are gone all too quickly. I do not see this attitude as a belittlement of lost children, simply an acknowledgement that profound losses may come from many different quarters. For most of the people in my life, their companion animals are cherished family members, and I cannot see that as anything but appropriate.

Oh, and--don't try to convince me that animals don't have souls. I have no patience with such claptrap, no matter how many famous persons or theological authorities you care to quote. If they said that, they're flat wrong, and probably never paid proper heed to the animals in their lives, or they would know better. Even the Bible agrees with me (if there are no animals in Heaven, how can Jesus come from there on a white horse in Revelation? I rest my case).

My hope is that today's post will encourage anyone who reads it to live more mindfully with those they love--be they humans, or some other species. Cherish the time you have with them, no matter who they are. And be sure they know how you feel!

Blessings to you.

IMAGES: Many thanks, once again, to NBC Latino's 2012 feature on the Days of the Dead, for the beautiful photo from Guatemala. I also want to thank Judy Jacintho's "Quotes" Pinterest board for the image and quote about spending time with loved ones, and The Better Future's website for the quote about grief.