Inequality Lies at the Root

By Jan S. Gephardt

When you get right down to it, inequality lies at the root of Women’s History Month. Imagine if there were no historic, male-centric preponderance of lopsided favoritism. In that case, all months would be equally devoted to the historic achievements of both men and women. But there’s not. So, here we are.

Certainly, the same could be said for Black History Month, as well as the Black Lives Matter movement. (Of course “all lives matter,” but there’s no enduring legacy of systemic brutality against white men. Only the stubbornly obtuse would argue otherwise). But that’s the thing. Inequality lies at the root of nearly every social ill. Inequality of access to health care. Of access to housing. Or education, or healthy food. It goes on and on.

All of these are undeserved inequities. That is, for the most part the people who suffer from them did nothing to deserve them. Oh, right. How dared they be born in a particular time, place, and social position! Very negligent of them! But of all the inequalities that surround us, perhaps the most foundational – and probably the oldest – is gender inequality.

Gender Inequality Lies at the Root of All Inequality

When you can discriminate against your own mother without a second thought or the slightest qualm, that’s a special kind of low. When you can demean your daughters and turn your lifemate into a chattel, you’re beneath reprehensible.

No, I’m not talking only about men. We humans – all of us – have collectively been buying into some version of this arrangement for millennia. If anything, that only makes it more horrifying, not less. And once you’ve crossed that very basic, intimate line? Heck, what’s going too far, after that? Skin color? Spoken accent? Different religious tradition? Pick whatever you feel like hating, and do your worst! There’s a saying that common sense is not so common. In human history, it seems common decency has been all too rare, as well.

This pernicious insistence on a hierarchy of superiority and inferiority within our own families creates a powerful unconscious bias. It dictates many aspects of how we see the world and relate to others. And as a result it enforces a host of other arbitrary rules. “Boys are blue and girls are pink” is only the beginning.

Two Quotes-in-Point

This post was inspired two quotes I paired up and shared on this blog in 2017. Here they are (one re-envisioned a bit):

I didn’t say much about either quote when I first posted them (I didn’t have Yoast SEO critiquing me with red frowny-faces back then, for one thing). But it seems to me that considerably more could and should be said on the topic of the messages our families and our society send.

I’ve been both a teacher and a mom. Granted, that was a while ago (my kids are millennials). But with that background, I can attest that parents can’t control all – or even most – of the messages kids receive. Sorry, fundamentalist home-schoolers and cranky conservative legislators. It’s a losing game. No matter how draconian you are, you ultimately lose this battle.

In a society like ours, messages come through. They penetrate, in spite of everything a person tries to do to control them. The trick is teaching our kids how to evaluate what comes through. Preferably, we’ll do that in a way that doesn’t distort their thinking in even more dysfunctional ways than society already has adopted.

What are we Teaching Our Kids?

There’s a humongous battle going on right now in the United States, about what we’re teaching our kids these days. First, a moment of perspective: there have always been people (especially, but not exclusively, conservatives) getting their panties in a twist over what we’re teaching our kids these days (in whichever century “these days” are).

Back when my kids were in school, I remember how another mother worried about whether our children were being taught that “it’s okay for somebody to have two daddies.” She was outraged to discover the idea didn’t outrage me. And it’s a story that truly should be a remnant from another era. But lately it’s back again, along with deeply corrosive controversies about children’s sports competitions.

It's pretty easy to see how inequality lies at the root of this thinking. People who self-identify within the LGBTQIA+ community have never been in a numerical majority. This inequality of influence made them easy to oppress. And yet we have evidence that there have never stopped being LGBTQIA+ people at any point in history. This inconvenient fact argues that they are a naturally-occurring phenomenon. Therefore, “born that way.” And therefore not a “lifestyle choice” that could be taught.

What does it Mean to be . . . Whoever You Are?

The LGBTQIA+ community has nearly always alarmed and infuriated others who buy into the historic distortion. Because, put simply, they subvert it. A person who’s built their whole worldview on two genders, one of which is “superior” to the other, doesn’t know what to do with other expressions sexuality (or asexuality).

Except, maybe hate it.

What does it mean to be yourself? Whatever it means to be your true, authentic, full, rich, realized self, it’s the epic task of every individual to continue being it, all the time. All our lives until we die, we’re still becoming who we are in this moment.

Who are you? One of the books recently popular with book-banners is titled All Boys Aren’t Blue. And it’s true. Boys – yes, and girls – can be “any color” their heart dictates. But can they express that self safely? If it’s not safe for boys to be raised “more like our daughters,” then everyone suffers. The distortion persists, and thereby warps everything.

Rooting out the Root

People speak of toxic masculinity, and that’s certainly one facet of our dysfunction. My stubbornly feminist son has wrestled with the concept. With the ways it’s presented, argued, and too often discounted. But he’s not the only one who’s found toxic masculinity, in itself, presents an incomplete picture of the problem.

This is where we come back to that basic, fundamental point I made above. Because when gender inequality lies at the root of all inequality it’s got to be our bottom-line “first focus.” And it pretty much never has been. But I think everything will remain out of joint to one extent or another until we fix this first problem. Because the rupture within our selves, our homes, and our families ripples outward.

When our most intimate primary relationships are disfigured, that disfigures who we are in our core and distorts everything we perceive. When our perceptions are distorted, our understanding of the world is twisted. A twisted understanding of the world warps our interactions with others and contorts all of our interactions. No lasting good can take root until the root of the problem is dealt with.

It behooves us to start digging.

IMAGE CREDITS

The first image in this post, with the quote from Robert Webb, is my own (Jan’s) design. I first published it in 2018 on my Artdog Adventures blog under the title, “Challenging Absurd Distinctions.” Find details about the image’s origins there. Likewise, the Gloria Steinem and Madonna Ciccone quotes were first published in 2017 under the title “Double Standards and Our Kids.” The photo of Gloria Steinem that I added to the original quote is courtesy of Biography.com.

The Craig Sloane quote (drawn from the source article) about the social stigma felt by LGBTQ individuals comes thanks to Healthline and their excellent article about substance abuse in that community. The quote about the “insane” system that develops within dysfunctional families is from Goodreads. I re-envisioned the quote with help from “yuliiahurzhos” and 123rf. Many thanks to all of my sources!

The First!

By Jan S. Gephardt

I’ve lived long enough to realize that, in this century, “the first” is always bittersweet.

Certainly, “The First Ever!” is exciting. There’s a sense of breakthrough, a sense of entering a new frontier, a new future in which the possibilities expanded. I remember The First American Woman in Space (Sally Ride). The First Woman Supreme Court Justice (Sandra Day O’Connor). The First Black President of the United States (Barack Obama).

I was one of the three million more people who cast our votes for The First Woman President of the United States. (Instead of the authoritarian loser con-man the Electoral College gave us). But these are all “firsts” that I, personally, in my lifetime remember. What went wrong with all the hundreds and thousands of years before that?

Ketanji Brown Jackson, nominee to be U.S. Circuit Judge for the District of Columbia Circuit, testifies during her Senate Judiciary Committee confirmation hearing in Dirksen Senate Office Building on April 28, 2021 in Washington, DC. The committee is holding the hearing on pending judicial nominations. (Photo by Tom Williams-Pool/Getty Images).

 

How Many Lost Opportunities?

In the flush of triumph over a brand-new “The First!” there are always a few inconvenient people. These folks fail to bask in the joy of the moment or celebrate an exhilarating milestone. Instead, they scowl and ask irritably, “What the hell took us so long?”

I have become one of those people.

I am delighted to greet President Biden's nomination of Ketanji Brown Jackson to the Supreme Court with applause. From what I’ve been able to learn about her, she’s perfect for the job. Especially when compared with certain recent previous nominees (currently serving), she’s vastly overqualified.

But nobody’s going to convince me she’s The-First-Ever-In-All-Of-History Black woman with the wisdom, discernment, and gravitas to be a Supreme Court Justice. How many others have there been in history, who – if given the chance, the education, and the opportunity – could have served as well or better than the ones we’ve had?

Nine female justices definitely would be an interesting reversal. (AZ Quotes).

 

232 Years. 120 Justices, 115 of Them Male and 117 White

A person would have to suffer from a titanic case of bigotry and misogyny to look at that header and not see prejudice. How, in all those 232 years, could mostly only white men be suitable – if not for a society weighted down and drowning in racial and gender bias?

I remember being exhilarated by Hillary Clinton’s so-called “cookie gaffe” in 1992, when she was on the campaign trail with Bill. "I suppose I could have stayed home and baked cookies and had teas, but what I decided to do was to fulfill my profession, which I entered before my husband was in public life," she said. Perhaps she did offend some stay-at-home moms (defensive, much?). As for me, I wanted to stand up and cheer.

Not because I have anything in particular against teas, cookies, or stay-at-home moms. In 1985 I became a stay-at-home mom, and I was one when she said that in ‘92. No, it was because back then there were a lot of people who made no bones about wanting women to “stay in their proper place” (read that: at home, with no public role, ever). Most of the folks who exerted that pressure were white men. Quite possibly, that’s because most of the people who got to have a say about things in those days (has it really changed that much?) were white men. But it’s certain that they preferred it that way.

The work she wanted to start “today” was creating the Equal Rights Amendment. It still hasn’t been ratified today. (IZ Quotes).

Lots of Oppression to Spread Around

During Women’s History Month, we often get a double-dose of “remember The First!” stories. They’re often couched as a courageous fight for equal rights, and they certainly were. If you doubt that, contemplate the life and struggles of Alice Paul, for just one example.

The stories of Women’s History Month, like the stories of just-ended Black History Month, are stories about struggles in the face of powerful oppression. This oppression has come from established societal norms and from laws. It has often been enforced with great brutality, against persons made helpless and defenseless by all the combined powers in the world around them.

But, especially in the case of women, the oppression often hasn’t been exerted by strangers or conquering foreigners. No, this pervasive oppression all too frequently has come from our own family members and our own intimate partners. The people with whom we’ve lived most closely and love dearly. They (and we, embedded in cultural norms) often haven’t even recognized it as oppression.

Perhaps our oppressors saw it as “protection.” Maybe they saw it as “sheltering.” They may even have seen it as “nurturing.” But “It’s for your own good” is the deepest cut of all, when you’re being held back, held down, and kept from achieving your full potential.

Here’s what “the Google test” turned up for these searches. (See credits below).

Try the Google Test

While I was preparing this post, I tried “the Google test.” That’s where I type in the beginning of a phrase and see what the algorithm fills in. It offers a glimpse of some commonly-searched-for topics, including things trending lately. Which is probably why, when I typed in “The first Latinx . . .” so many answers came back about the Oscars. I’ll admit I was kind of astonished to find that my search for “The first Black . . .” turned up zero references to female Supreme Court nominees, although we did get Thurgood Marshall in there.

My beloved United States has come up with a lot of forms of oppression in its history. I shouldn’t be shocked. But I always am a bit more saddened, when I remember yet another category-label variation of “human” that my fellow countrypersons have found it agreeable to oppress.

More “Google tests” and more results. (See credits below).

 

The First of Any Distinguished Category

I hope that by now I’ve clarified what I mean when I say that, in this century, “the first” is always bittersweet. Whenever there’s a “The First!” of any distinguished category, that means there has been a whole world of hurt, degradation, and missed opportunities in the past. Oppression of some kind has deprived us of untold brilliant individuals until this first one now.

They could have improved our lives, expanded our minds, and brought their own unique power and possibility into the larger world. But oppression strangled their voices. It smothered their options, and murdered their visions. Oppression, like war, is a destroyer. But while war is flashier and louder, oppression is more pervasive. Like a miasma, it spreads everywhere and relentlessly kills the light.

When we live to see a “The First!” we do see a moment of hope, but it perhaps shines brighter because it shines out against a deep history of darkness, evil, and oppression. Every triumphant “The First!” is a marker that says, “oppression lingers here.” It’s bittersweet because it took so long and cost so much. And because we know that it’s not a “streak” yet. It might prove to be a solitary exception that the powers of oppression could turn into a token and use against further progress.

But we’ll take it, all the same. Because every “The First!” story is far, far better than the all-too-great multitude of “Never Yet in This World” laments.

Misogyny is very far from only being isolated to the United States. Here, at least educating girls isn’t controversial! (See credits below).

IMAGE CREDITS

Many thanks to Ohio Capital Journal, photographer Tom Williams-Pool and Getty Images, for the photo of the Honorable Ketanji Brown Jackson at a previous confirmation hearing. We’re grateful to AZ Quotes for the quote-image from Ruth Bader Ginsburg, and to IZ Quotes, for the quote from Shirley Chisholm.

We also must appreciate Google’s search engine for all the screen-captured search results. Jan S. Gephardt assembled and designed the montages. Finally, the quote from Malala Yousafzai comes courtesy of MIC Network, via Artdog Adventures. It was the “Artdog Quote of the Week” on March 5, 2018. Many thanks to all!